Cross Creek Journal, September, 2006

What a better time to renew our commitment to this program than beginning of the new school year in September. Even though we are not a traditional school, as most people understand it, we still can use some milestones to measure our success as a program and as an academic learning place. Our academics alone are not what make this program successful. It is a big part of it, but to fully support and understand our mission as a program, one must look at academic achievements, along with the other components. The work students do with their therapists, family reps, and staff is just as important as work done in a classroom. Creating a healthy outlook on life requires balance in all areas in life, and as a teenager the challenge to find balance in one’s life is difficult. With our program each student is offered an opportunity to discover themselves fully through academics, therapy, behavior modification, seminar attendance and service work. Our goal is to have each student successfully complete the program and each family come together renewed with common goals and values. At this time we invite all of you to recommit to working together with us to make the time spent in the program valuable and worthwhile.

The pictures of the seminar graduates and staffers are available to view on the Parent BBS. If your child’s picture was not taken, you may still have a “no” on file regarding permission to photograph. Please check with your family representative to make sure we have the most recent information on record.

Ms. Lona Sanders, family rep for group five. Ms. Lona has worked at Cross Creek for ten years serving first as girls’ family rep and the last five years as a family rep for the boy’s side. Ms. Lona is known for no nonsense approach with the students and holds them to a high standard in her group. She works closely with Mr. Craig Hansen, group five and six therapist.

Ms. Marci Wood, Youth Supervisor in charge of girls’ activities and of the college program students. Marci has been at Cross Creek for five and a half years, and through her work ethic and willingness to accept several different assignments has demonstrated her character as an employee and a mentor to the students.

When I first arrived at Cross Creek December 27, 2003, I wanted nothing more than to leave and go home. Little did I know that Cross Creek would hold a place in my heart for the rest of my life. I guess you could say that by the time I graduated, I had a change of heart!

I graduated the program in October of 2005, and I counted down the days until I could come back and visit. This month I went to visit Cross Creek, and it was a blessing that I cannot describe in words. I was given the chance to see the people who truly helped me save my life. To see the girls’ smiling faces was so amazing to me. It brought joy to my life, and I cherished every moment of being back. I had some great laughs, tears and happiness in my visit. You know, Ron Garrett is right when he says, “You cry when you get here, and you cry when you leave”. I cried when I had to leave again!

I will never forget my journey at Cross Creek. Most importantly, I will never forget the people who helped me every step of the way. To be able to give back is priceless. Talking to the girls also helped me and gave me strength and hope for my future. Life gets tough out here, but I know that I always have a second home to go back to.

My name is Autumn Denton and I am a Cross Creek Graduate of June 2005. I was in the program for 19 months (November 26, 2003 through June 25, 2005.) I turned 18 December 4th, 2004 and chose to stay and complete the program. It was my decision and one I am grateful I made today.

I was sent to Cross Creek as a result of running away, dropping out of school at 16, using an assortment of drugs (crystal meth, coke, marijuana, prescription pills, and alcohol). I was extremely uncontrollable not only by my parents and authority but I couldn’t control myself either. I had no values left when I was sent to Cross Creek and little ambition for life in general. The destructible things I was doing to myself and to those around me was all I knew. I have learned and come to realize today that the things I did wasn’t whom I was. This was a belief I had created, and a barrier to any change that would be possible for my life.

Going into Cross Creek, I didn’t agree with any of it and I had all kinds of judgment about everything going on. They told me I didn’t have to be the person I was anymore, or do the things I was doing anymore. In my and many others minds, I didn’t want to change and conform to who they wanted me to be. That was the first barrier and most common that held me back for the first couple of months. I had little hope that I could be any different than the person I had created.

A lot of people today have no idea how I used to be and the things I’ve done in my past. When I share some of it, people can’t even imagine it. That is a gift I get today. Another advantage is I didn’t have to change who I was instead I got to uncover the me I truly am, the person I thought I had lost through the choices I had made.

I totally support the program today, and I am the last person I would have thought who would. And it’s not just parts of the system but the entire thing. I have been home now for a year and am applying components of the program where I never thought possible, in my relationships, at my job, in my sobriety, really in everyday things I couldn’t deal with before.

Cross Creek kept me safe when I knew I was a threat to myself and those around me, they supported me when I was blinded to the hopes for change, and assisted me in making the decision to better my life. And for that I will be eternally grateful.

It took me a long time to get working, but as for my parents, they worked from the get go. It is amazing how committed my parents are. My mom and dad graduated all their seminars before me, and have made some really positive changes. At first I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to have “PROGRAM PARENTS”. I wanted parents who would eventually miss me so much that they would pull me from the program.

My parents are very strong when it comes to the commitment of me graduating this program. I didn’t start working my program till I had been here for a long time! Finally when I was working I noticed that communication with my parents came easily. The tools that all of us picked up allowed us to talk to each other without any of us feeling belittled or victimized. We can give each other feedback and coaching, and really get in touch with one another’s feelings. Things don’t have to be so complicated any more.

When my parents work so hard in their program it lets me know how committed they are to me getting better. I feel that is one of the greatest ways to show they love me. When I was at home I had a difficult time getting along with my mom. We argued a lot and I thought she had her mind set on needing to right all the time. Now that she has gone through seminars we can sit down and compromise. We each give a little to gain as a whole. It now is a win-win not a lose-lose. I actually have grown to love my program parents. We all are so much better for it.

Level six, the highest level in the program, seems impossible to achieve to many girls on lower levels and even some on higher levels. I know that a lot of girls picture level sixes as people who are perfect, always happy, and have gotten everything together. Not so!

I noticed that I was quite jealous of these girls, aside from my admiration. I think the thing I envied the most was the fact that these girls seemed to be content and I wasn’t. I eventually concluded that all the girls on level six had “arrived”. I believed that they were problem-free, knew everything, and were, above all, flawless. I wanted more than anything to have what they had.

I began to work my program and, after much hard work, finally got to level five. Although I was doing everything I needed to do in the program, I still saw level six as something very far away. I procrastinated going up for level six for a while. I expected myself to be “perfect” before I could support myself, let alone get the support from my peers. One day I decided to push myself and ask for support for level six in my home group. I had pictured getting lots of vote downs from others, but when I went up I was thrilled to see that I had full support. I finally got level six on June 1, 2005.

After being level six for a few months, I realized that I had not “arrived” like I thought I would. I still had problems, I still felt depressed at times, and I still made mistakes. I also realized that the other girls on level six were just like me, none of us were perfect. What we did have in common was that we all did our best to be excellent. We still had the same problems but we handled them differently now.

As I am getting ready to go home, I recognize the fact that I will still not have “arrived” even when I am home for good. I will continue to struggle with the same things I did even on level one. Ron Garrett, the program director often tells us: “The only difference between level one and level six is the way you handle things”. Now I see why this is true. Will I ever arrive? I don’t know. I don’t know if anyone “arrives” in this life. Maybe we finally arrive when we go to heaven. But as for myself right now, I am going to do the best I can in this life with what I have - one day at a time.

Congratulations to all our parents who completed Discovery, Focus and Keys this past month. Students are learning quickly that life as they knew it at home IS OVER!!!! Thank you for your continued support of the program and our facility. We invite you to write a brief article on your experiences and/or learning about concepts or life in general while enrolled in the program. The best articles are no longer than 1000 words, so that we can publish as many as possible for all our families to read. If you would like suggestions for topics to write on, please get in touch with Riitta Nugent, the Family Rep Supervisor by e-mailing riitta@crosscreekprograms.com, and I will be happy to supply you with a list.

Just a quick reminder to our parents: In order for you to staff with your child, you must have staffed at least one parent seminar, your child must be close to going home and even then you most likely will be on a waiting list. We can only accommodate two parents per seminar (Discovery, Focus or Orientation), so be patient and understanding if your name does not get on the staffing roster. Thank You.